Satisfaction
A few months back, I expressed my frustration about how I can't keep up with how much there is to read around me.
I am overwhelmed at times with how much I have left unread. It's not just the words written on blogs. But the sheer forms of writing I want to read.
As I sit alone at home today, with nice pop music playing in the background, I can't help but think that nothing has changed much. I still don't read what I want to read. Of course, I can hardly claim that I tried my best to correct any of that. Is it because of the lack of time? I can't say that. Fortunately. my work-life balance has been decent. I begin early and can end my day early at work. I have evenings for myself and my family, which I make full use of.
I haven't ever been more satisfied with what I do with my days, yet something feels amiss.
In the urge to reach a good balance between life and work, I have forgotten my hobbies. Or have they just changed? Do things that inspired me at one point in my life no longer do? Yet, I am not actively doing many things that the young me would have considered unhealthy. How do I know? Well, here are the distractions I listed yesterday which made me write less.
I did a lot of chit-chatting. I spent time planning trips that I was not yet certain would happen. I did a lot of research for a newsletter that I doubt I will ever publish. I watched some TV with my daughter only because she was watching it.
Not long ago, I would have considered such a day extremely productive. I would have been on cloud nine if I hadn't spent any time watching YouTube alone or scrolling meaninglessly through social timelines. Now, I consider such a day a hindrance to my writing. Why?
While reducing time spent on smartphones or other activities done alone is good, what also matters is what I fill that time with. Getting rid of the negatives isn't enough. It needs to be replaced with something positive.
Even in my early 40s, reading and writing continue to bring positive energy to my life. Sometimes, feeling satisfied isn't enough.