Ever since I decided to own and host my site, i.e. basically ever since this place has existed, I was planning to write down my reasons and choices for the engines that run this site. Couple of feedbacks finally made me jot down the thoughts.

One thing I was sure about was I did not want to not control any of the knobs of my blog. So I had to go all in.

• Own the domain first
• Run and customise the blogging engine
• Host the engine

Domain

Deciding on domain name was simpler part; that is once I had given up on all the crazy pseudo-names I wished my blog would have. So I went ahead with my real name. Simple.

To register a domain, there were a lot of options out there. Some were way cheaper but were sucky and known to follow shady-practises. Then there few that were comparatively costly, but simple.

I had heard so much about one such simple, no-nonsense domain registration service, Hover. Few visits to Hover and I decided Hover was the one that fit my high-horse attitude the most. I usually tend to support the service providers with principles. And it always comes at a cost.

So I registered my domain via Hover. The experience was simple and positively uncluttered. I recommend the service. Give it a go. You will be impressed.

Blogging engine

I have been blogging for quite some time now and have owned the free blogs at Wordpress.com, blogger, tumblr and even posterous. I even hosted a blog with Wordpress.org. Each had their own benefits and shortcomings.

• Posterous was simple. But it was way too simple.
• Blogger allows heavy customisation, and even monetization via Google AdWords. But it is way too childish. It does not have a professional, or a 'mature' look to it.
• Tumblr has nice social sharing features. But that is what it is. It is more of a social network for bloggers rather than a blogging engine. Plus majority of the themes are not good for text heavy posts, which mine always are. It's perfect for images, especially gifs.
• Wordpress.com/.org is the biggie in the space. It has everything possible under the sun. Customisation, extensibility, theming. But it is way too heavy. And far too common. I never like common.

So I was on a look-out for an option that is simple, lite & powerful and gives me a lot of control with what I can do. Enter Ghost.

Ghost is a simple open source blogging platform that you can completely own. It provides simple writing tools. I have already detailed what I like about Ghost in the first post here. Even the community has accepted it, so there are a lot of customisation options available too.

Plus if you like coding even a bit, there is nothing better. I had my Ghost blog running on my local machine and I was satisfied, only after some customisation i.e. I adopted and adapted the Vapor theme from Seth Lilly.

All that remained was to make it available on the internet.

Hosting

Final call I had to make was about how to host the blog I had running on my local machine. One thing I did not want to do was go with a PaaS solution; basically the solutions that provide you just the platform where you can upload the blog and you are up.

In a way, Ghost made my decision to go against PaaS easier. There are hardly such services that support node.js, javascript based platform, on which Ghost is built.

I had decided to either go all in, i.e. get a virtual server (VPS) or simply not worry about hosting myself.

Ghost allows you both the options. You can either go pro with Ghost and let the team handle the hosting for you, like wordpress.com. Second options is to go free and host it yourself. I knew I wanted to go with the second option. And I did.

For getting VPS, I just had two options shortlisted, Linode or Digital Ocean. Linode was costlier. A more pro-dev friendly. Not something I was ready to sign up for with such simple requirements as mine.

On the other hand I had earlier experience, mostly positive, with Digital Ocean. Plus it had Ghost application pre-built.

So it was really as simple as creating a droplet and I had my blog up. Finally, I also wanted to secure up the Linux node, and an amazing article from Feross Aboukhadijeh got me rolling. It is written for a Linode node; but it can very well work for any Linux server out there. Do not forget to follow these steps. They are must if you are to keep the node running even for short time.

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So a day in and I had a secure Linux VPS node running my blog which was completely customised by me, as per my needs. And it was satisfactory experience and a fruitful journey.

One way to think of writing is to jot down abundance of words, leading towards a story or an account. Another way is to simply think of it as a medium to express oneself. Every person often comes across such occasions to put his thought, his ideas, his expressions in words. Occasions are aplenty. Event in his own life. Event in the lives of acquaintances, friends or near & dear ones. Or just a public event.

One of my friends had a similar occasion, one close to his heart. It was anniversary of his engagement with his fiancé, their's 1st. He took all the pains to decide on the gift, the place to buy it from, flowers to go with it and the time they to be delivered at.

And then he did what I see people doing most often these days. He went to google and typed “1st anniversary wishes/messages”. I wondered why did he not simply scribble what he felt?

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It’s saddening to see people resist the efforts to pen the words they think of. They go after what others have written, beautifully never-the-less, but at the cost of it being not real, fake. They underestimate the power of conveying ones own feelings in whichever way possible. The words, their structure won’t matter much then. And that is one way one can start writing.

Start short, simple and personal.

To start with, don’t miss a chance to write to your loved ones, breed a will to do so. Wish them for their successes/failures. Appreciate their kind acts. Console them for what they have lost. Keep it simple, write the words you feel. Take effort to make it personal. Involving.

Next go for an outline that you feel would be more effective. Decide what is the best way to put your thoughts through. Try and improvise on different ways you could communicate. Do you want to narrate an incident you people were involved in? Do you want to glance with them at the journey you had together? Do you want to reflect upon their qualities, good or bad? Or do you simply want to tell them what they mean to you? Think how best you can convey what you want to convey.

And you would be surprised to see the effect that has; on both the reader and you as writer. Don’t act amazed if you want to open up, to express yourself more. Have belief in yourself and try to write more. Do so even on more public forums, about public issues.

Only difference is, in public, the reader might not be the one you can personally connect to. Write for yourself first. Write what you would like reading, something that will please you.

So if there is one person, you, who you could please with what you wrote, chances are there will be few more. There will always be a group of readers with whom the thoughts you feel would connect. Adornment of affulent words is no longer a need then.

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Remember. Will, Outline and Belief is all it takes

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

-Sylvia Plath

So next time you get an occasion to wish someone, don’t doubt yourself. Start writing. Express.

[Postscript] I had originally written and published this post on Medium. That was before I started writing on my self-owned blog.

It is raining outside, a steady fall of cheerful drops. I look outside, while am gathering my thoughts, again. Rains always make me do that. Especially such.

Cheerful the droplets sound, together. This sound beat is no less than a pleasant sufi composition to my ears. It always cheers me up. It is doing the same to me now too. It's affecting the plans I have for the evening. But I do not feel saddened. Plans can be remade. Such rains are rare.

I adore such rains that have a knack of showmanship. They lead with a thorough built-up.

Elaborate gathering of the hazy clouds in the sky. Gradual darkening of the surroundings. Disjointed, but equally systematic, flashes of lightenings filling the skies. Followed so aptly by a symphony of angered rumbles. Unhurried arrival of tiny droplets. And the final showdown with the downpour. Show doesn't end. Post-climactic spans of the gleeful nature leaves one mesmerised.

Today's is one such showman. It, indeed, has left me mesmerised. Rejuvenated!

I like listening to podcasts and have been regularly doing so. Podcasts have almost become my go-to source of entertainment during my commutes or non-working lone times. If I can focus on what's playing, I listen to podcasts. Music is only for the times when I don't want people to disturb me and concentrate, mostly during work.

It's no surprise, then, that the podcast-listening applications, or podcatchers, are few of the most used, and so most important, apps on my phone. And because I interact with these apps very frequently throughout the day, I look for a frictionless experience while using them.

When Marco Arment launched Overcast I was highly excited. I was waiting for this app since he first wrote about it. I knew Marco would have a different take on how we consume podcasts. I had high expectations while I downloaded the app.

And Overcast did deliver. Almost.

Perfect, except while downloading

Overcast gives a different spin to almost every aspect of the podcast listening experience. Just the first impression promoted the app to my home screen, even my dock. There were so many things that impressed me.

Overall look, user interface and experience of the app has a refreshing feel to it; even the colours and fonts used are easy on eyes. Playlists management and playback controls are simple and intuitive, equally powerful at the same time. Voice boost does assist in making podcasts more audible in a car/bus.

Smart-speed, the silence killer, is brilliant. It's just been 20 days since I started using this app and this feature has already saved an extra 3 hours on my podcast listening time. This feature alone is sufficient enough to make Overcast my default app. It even did for 2 weeks.

However this smart feature was clouded by the data-unfriendly behaviour of the app while downloading episodes. And this was a huge minus for the app.

I feel most of the shortcomings during downloads are due to the misguided assumption on Marco's part; that a user either wants every episode from a podcast automatically downloaded or wants none. The belief, it seems, is one would never decide whether to download an episode, manually, only when it arrives.

Well, that is not true for all. Some of us do like to be notified when an episode of our favourite podcast is released, read what would be discussed and then decide whether to download it or not.

Overcast struggles to do either of it.

You can either "Subscribe to All New Episodes" of a podcast and be notified/not notified when a new episode is released or just disable the subscribe option. There is no way to just be notified, but not download the episode.

Reading about an episode is not easy too. I assumed initially, and accidentally do so even now, that clicking on the episode should expand its description. Rather it starts downloading it. I have to target the (i) and click it to read the description. Not friendly, really.

Even when the download begins, the options visible to take actions are not really intuitive. First of all, there is no information on the data size of the episode. It is especially important to display this information when one has to decide whether to download it over the data connection or not.

Anyway once the download begins, the button changes to something with a pause symbol in it. First of all, as can be seen, the ring around the pause button is no indication of the download status.

Secondly, the pause button does not actually pause the download. It stops it, discarding the already downloaded data and begins re-download from 0% on 'resume'. I understand the limitation that Core Audio puts while storing partially downloaded files, but least I expect is not to show a pause button at all if it does not.

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All these issues with download manager really make it difficult for me to use Overcast. Marco does say he builds apps which cater to him first and solves the problem he faces. So he, may be, did not foresee the way the podcasts are actually consumed, especially in non-first world countries.

He, also, may say that Overcast is not for me and I should try the other independent apps he, so earnestly, showcases in the settings menu.

However I really like Overcast's episode management and playback features and would want to use them. I would miss them in the other apps.

But as long as the app does not value the importance of data, I am afraid it will stay in my backup folder, waiting for the appropriate update.

One's subconscious wakes up pretty frequently, at times during events not that significant in grand scheme of things. This was one such incident.

It was raining outside. I was, however, in a rush to come out of the building. I had already gotten late to leave my desk. Not that I had a bus to catch; rather I had buses to miss. I had to hit the road before the swarm of office shuttles poured on to the roads. That was my best, may be the only, chance to reach home unflustered.

I was trotting along the road, with my mind preoccupied with the thought to reach the parking lot sooner. Shall I take a straight route to the parking lot with just a turn or one with many arcs and twists? I had already started hustling on the straight route.

I, then, felt an itch on my left hand, just beneath the watch I was wearing.

I removed the watch and held it. I was lost for a moment, looking for a replacement place for the watch to reside. I realised I could wear it on my right wrist too and I went ahead to strap it there.

But my subconscious mind, fast asleep till then, woke up making me aware about what I was doing. That is when it dawned on me.

I never wear a watch on my right hand. Never.

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The incident got me thinking why was it so? Why was it that strapping a watch on the right hand was such a taboo for me? When did I decide it should always be on the left hand? I looked around me, none of the people had the watch on their right hand. None. No one.

I could come up with some quick answers as to why that might be the case. But I was not after a particular, rational, answer. I was curious about the pre-programmed behaviour of mine that makes me do, without much thinking, many of the chores I regularly do.

I knew there would be a lot of such wired decisions I keep making, and I went on to identify some of those. It didn't take much time for me to compile the list.

• I prefer even numbers, for any and every thing. Counting, stop-watch, timer, alarm, volume rocker. Every number settles on an even number.
• I hate characters, in alphabet, with pointy triangles in them. V, N, Z. I hate them.
• I prefer path which is straight, with lesser turns, even if longer.
• I pick a pen up when I want to note down something closer to my heart, for reasons I wrote about earlier.
• And many more..

The alternatives just don't feel right to me. Rather I do not even think about or look out for the alternative.

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I might assign reasons, possibly scientific too, to each one of them. But I would go back to doing the things, liking them or hating them, just the way I am programmed to do.

And I feel every one of us, if he or she decides, could come up with one such list. All we need to do is keep our mind open and question.

One might wonder what would he/she gain from the exercise? Well, it is good to know the always-awake, the conscious, subconscious is looking over, making small decisions for you, always.

I would no longer be posting on this weblog going ahead. I have finally managed to own my presence on web completely, again. I knew this was a placeholder for my thoughts till I put together a planned-to-be-permanent place which could be controlled by me. I managed to get that done finally, read my views here.

I have already started writing at the new portal which I have simply named as {amit gawande} as finally that is what it is going to be, a portal just about me. If you have liked my writing, I assure you, you will continue to like it going ahead too. Subscribe to the new rss feed.

This site is a result of in-numerous attempts at pushing myself to own my blog, again.

My last attempt was significant for me because it allowed me to fully host and own a wordpress blog. It had a good run through my bachelor life, got neglected later and finally shuttered, post marriage. Posts still reside, though, at a wordpress.com blog, which, deep inside I knew, was nothing but a placeholder.

So my wait continued for the inspiration that would push me to create and own, again, a simpler place for my thoughts. And that inspiration came from Camel, the blogging engine from Casey Liss of atp fame.

The inspiration, though, was not because I liked Camel, which even now I haven't made my mind about. But it was because I wanted to have something as simple as what Casey had, and get that done in an equally simpler way. At the same time, I also wanted to learn and try something new.

I knew my requirements were not complex, neither did I expect my audience to be huge. So I needed something simpler than a full fledged, php-rich, wordpress blog hosted on a dedicated host, which I also realised is too costly for my needs. Enter Ghost!

New Beginning

So this is where my quest led me to, a simple Ghost based blog to jot my thoughts down. The reasons, I had my own.

Simple I had heard so much about Markdown before. I felt everybody, almost everyone who writes for himself, was using Markdown. And every one of them had all the nice things to say about it. Even I tried learning it numerous times. But, I realised now that it is only when you use it that you appreciate the simplicity of it. It really makes writing, just about writing. Something I really needed.

New I wanted to change everything, the way I write my posts, the way it looks, the way it works and the way I would host. I was bored of all that wordpress or even tumblr, something I played with for sometime, provided. It all felt the same. For some time, I even thought about just using Camel. But then I would have had to work even on the engine along with writing, which I didn't want to sign up for just yet.

Not costly For hosting, I wanted to meet the above 2 points first, at the same time consider the cost factor. A free option existed with Heroko as suggested by Casey and Greg Bergé. However, I either wanted to go all in, with hosting on VPS or just stick to the simplest option from the creators of Ghost. Anything I chose, would have turned out to be a lot cheaper than what I paid for hosting the unnecessarily complex wordpress blog.

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What I, thus, have is a simple, minimalist place for me to just write. I own, again, a self-built, self-hosted blog. Here's to another start!

[Postscript] There would a temporary phase when I focus more on the place than on writing. However, I intend to cross that phase pretty soon. Whatever that results in, I feel, should, more or less, look pretty similar to this.

[Postscript 2] I have writen a followup post that explains the whys and how-tos of this complete process.

Another introduction where I am involved, as in I listen, happened today. These introductions haunt me, always. Names are exchanged and so is the purpose for visit and some pleasantries. We talk, we laugh, we share. Then the meeting, or the visit, ends. Everything is well and good. That is until we meet the next time. The other person smiles, starts talking. And all I am thinking, of course with a smile on my face, is what the bloody hell is your name again!? As it turns out, the last time we met, it was the name part that I conveniently side-stepped while registering the introduction in memory.

And this occurs with me way too often. Initial interaction happens with the introduction, then I forget the name. At first I just don’t take the trouble to know the name thinking may be we just won’t meet that often after all.  But the interaction continues. It increases often; we meet more. We talk more. We become acquaintances. We are on the verge of becoming friends. And all I am still thinking of is how the hell should I get this person mouth his name again. Asking for name is absolutely not an option now because I am already in a friend or a known person zone. The bridge has been crossed. So all I do is wait for him or some one else speak the said person’s name.

And I do realize this is a very assholistic behavior on my part. So this time I decide this behavior of mine has to end. And I query the web. You know what, this is way too common a phenomenon. So common that there are zillions of “n ways to remember names” self-helf articles across the web. Ways suggested stretch from plain childish to utter foolish.

For example, break the name into parts and remember the parts. Yeah.. a fool-proof way. Only if I could remember to break the name first and remember the parts next. Or associate the name with something. So if you are Ramesh, I will remember you as mesh. What bull crap. How awkward would it be to think of the made association every time you meet, say Vikas or Hardik. Nope. Not gonna work. Or make the name dance in front of eyes. Or what not. Complete non-sense.

Only thing that made sense to me was to speak the name out aloud. More times, the better. Well that is one thing I can do. That is one thing I am going to do rather. So next time you meet me and introduce yourself, please bear with me if I go on chanting your name in every statement that follows. And so will I if I see you doing the same.

Inferno by Dan Brown Going in to the chapter 1 of Inferno, I didn’t have too high expectations. I was looking for a breezy page-turner with some anecdotes on sculptures, people, places intermingled with the story. However I was disappointed to see Dan Brown fail to deliver even that.

Anecdotes are way too many and completely irrelevant to the story. Many a times, the novel reads as Brown’s travelogue of places during his research, just there to increase the page count. I remember ignoring many paragraphs describing some sculpture or a building or a painting. Uninteresting. Plain boring. Do research Mr. Brown; just don’t force everything into a novel.

And there are so many discernible and ludicrous attempts at being relevant to the current tech-aware audience. All the references to iPads, iPhones, ebooks etc. fall flat, cringeworthy.

Finally to the story, what is expected is a mystery to be solved by Professor Langdon through the clues sprinkled in historic symbols. I feel the novel fails there too. Codes and clues are way too simple, straight-forward. Many don’t even lead something significant; they are just there to bring Langdon in picture. Inferno could well have been a sci-fi mystery novel instead of a Robert Langdon one. Disappointed.

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

First two chapters down and I knew am in for an epic saga. The book had me right from the stories of the two protagonists being christened.

This was one of the finest examples of how the characters are built. Every single one, even the supporting ones, was well shaped. With that done in the backdrop of the historical events, they felt real. To see how each one of the events impacted the characters had a smile on my face. I was emotionally with them in their rise to success, rooting for one at times, while the other at others. Their stories might feel cliched, but I felt them. And then they met, right around the middle.

I felt the second half was a bit weak. The events became forced every time the characters had to meet. Kane and Abel, as individuals, had me intrigued. But Kane and Abel together? Not much. The rivalry felt contrived, childish. Agreed, I was interested to know what unfolded next. But it played out just the way I predicted. Interested, and then disappointed not to be proved wrong.

And I have to mention that the romantic parts were the weakest. Such lifeless, boring mentions of jumbled adult words. There for just no reason. Good they didn’t last long, I cringed every time.

Having said all, I did enjoy the novel, an entertaining read. It had me interested in Kane and Abel till the end. And that’s where it succeeded.

View all my reviews

Some years ago, executives at a Houston airport faced a troubling customer-relations issue. Passengers were lodging an inordinate number of complaints about the long waits at baggage claim. In response, the executives increased the number of baggage handlers working that shift. The plan worked: the average wait fell to eight minutes, well within industry benchmarks. But the complaints persisted.

Puzzled, the airport executives undertook a more careful, on-site analysis. They found that it took passengers a minute to walk from their arrival gates to baggage claim and seven more minutes to get their bags. Roughly 88 percent of their time, in other words, was spent standing around waiting for their bags.

So the airport decided on a new approach: instead of reducing wait times, it moved the arrival gates away from the main terminal and routed bags to the outermost carousel. Passengers now had to walk six times longer to get their bags. Complaints dropped to near zero.

There is some great theory there. Man I love human tendency to fool oneself into not hating something.

Make us fools, but we hate waiting.

Inside Google’s secretive X laboratory, known for inventing self-driving cars and augmented reality glasses, a small group of researchers began working several years ago on a simulation of the human brain.

There Google scientists created one of the largest neural networks for machine learning by connecting 16,000 computer processors, which they turned loose on the Internet to learn on its own.

Credit where it is due, Google has to be lauded for encouraging the open research on topics so varied. There is so much potential with computing power and data at Google.

At cost of being cynical (a bit), I felt this would be so so useful (?) to Google with all the data that it has with it. And equally frightening to the users watching. Obviously Google is looking at that, no? And then I read this.

Google scientists said that the research project had now moved out of the Google X laboratory and was being pursued in the division that houses the company’s search business and related services. Potential applications include improvements to image search, speech recognition and machine language translation

And bingo!

On a side note, NYT had to ruin it by changing the headline to “How many computers to identify a cat? 16000”. Underplays the success that this is.

Evidence of Machine Learning scratched at Google X Laboratory

… I won’t be surprised if BJP tags this loss as the failure of UPA government. Someone, mostly Gadkari, might go so far to claim that there is a big conspiracy behind the loss. UPA planned and executed the loss just to divert “aam aadmi’s” attention away from the zillions of unearthing scams.

UPA on the other hand will appoint a committee to look into the loss and give out the steps to be followed, “Committee will come up with the report which will go to PAC that will come to parliament where it will be discussed over and, if any irregularities found, will be open for discussion on action to be taken, followed by the actual action to be taken, given it is decided that another committee need not be formed to investigate the report submitted by the first committee.”

Diggy Singh would suddenly wake up and blurt out “Right-wing Hindu organisation RSS has to be behind this. I have evidence and can prove if I am asked to.” No one will ask him to stop spreading his bloody verbal  dysentery and he will happily go back to sleep.

Manish Tiwari, if asked for comment or if isn’t either, will go on and on with his heavy words artillery and pose another hundred questions at the end of which the initial question will remain unanswered.

Well cricket fans will burn few effigies and wait for the next tour/series/gully challenge trophy where India will play again as favorites.

BCCI will plan another tour (2 tests, 3 ODIs, 2 T20s) against Zimbabwe accepting their offer to pay the money won through win against Bangladesh in return.

New breed cricketers will continue their wait for IPL and play the international matches as practice sessions for IPL.

And Manmohan Singh? “Lammmbiiii khaaamoooshhiiii”.

We, the people of India; the divided people of India.

We are divided by states. We are divided by religion. We are divided by language. We are divided by accent. We are divided by names. We are divided by color.

We are divided by views we hold. We are divided by acts we preach.

We are divided by who we follow. We are divided by who we don’t.

We are divided by what we own. We are divided by what we don’t.

We are divided even by one’s own identity.

So divided we are. We, the people of India. Yes, we are the nation of a billion divided identities.

Least we can do to make ourselves feel better is name this nation “United States of India”. “United” we would be then, at least by name.

Another day, when things did not go as planned. Things worked out well, almost, but did not go to plan. Nothing happened as I thought it should, but I did not complain because it did not affect me negatively. I consoled my mind “all is well”.

Though it did not end the way it should have. I knew something needs to change. And the change is brought. Vague, but truth. Isn’t that how the truth is most often?

Interesting read this about an experiment involving Joshua Bell. You feel for him when we says this:

With “Chaconne,” the opening is filled with a building sense of awe. That kept him busy for a while. Eventually, though, he began to steal a sidelong glance.

“It was a strange feeling, that people were actually, ah …”

The word doesn’t come easily.

“… ignoring me.”

What is even more puzzling though is this thought from Mark Leithauser.

"Let’s say I took one of our more abstract masterpieces, say an Ellsworth Kelly, and removed it from its frame, marched it down the 52 steps that people walk up to get to the National Gallery, past the giant columns, and brought it into a restaurant. It’s a $5 million painting. And it’s one of those restaurants where there are pieces of original art for sale, by some industrious kids from the Corcoran School, and I hang that Kelly on the wall with a price tag of $150. No one is going to notice it. An art curator might look up and say: ‘Hey, that looks a little like an Ellsworth Kelly. Please pass the salt.’"

So life-less we have become. Or were we always like this?

If a great musician plays great music but no one hears, was he really any good?

Change is important. Change is inevitable. But if not, it has to be forced. Change is one thing I plan to undergo every time there is nothing happening around.

Change the way I commute to office. Change the route I use. Change the time I travel. Change the schedule at office. Change the schedule at home. Change the services I use. Change the products I use. I.e. Change everything that’s changeable.

Change something. Change at least one thing. Because that cascades down one’s life to change everything. And this change is important. It freshens one up. It pushes one out of his comfort zone. Rather it just doesn’t allow him to enter a comfort zone; a zone of mechanical activeness.

It was second incident in last 2 weeks when I had to select a mobile number for myself. Now this activity may sound simple and non-important. But I always find it an extremely confusing experience.

Think about it. In front of you are the numbers “available” for you to select as your contact number. Now first thing you have to make sure is the number should be at least easy enough to remember yourself so you do not have to open your contact list every time someone asks for your number.

Now I always find one which is easy enough to remember myself. But it so happens that the way I say the number is always different from how the person who listens to it utters.

To elaborate, I speak the number this way 4 2345 85 15. (Spaces are the pauses I take.) So simple right. Now this is how the other person repeats it 423 458 515. I am like what the hell. It takes me few seconds to realise both of them are the same.

So the aim is to, if possible, select a number which is easy to remember/recognise, whatever way one utters it. And I very rarely find one.

That’s not all. Lets move back to the initial situation. As I said, in front of you are the numbers “available” for you to select. Available. For you. Only these numbers.

So basically these are the numbers which no one, who has selected his contact number earlier, found easy enough to remember. And I have to select one from them. I could, till date, never prevent this thought from entering my mind.

In the end, I always end up selecting some number which neither I, nor someone else could fathom at the same time.

PS: Just received a compliment of my number being awesomely simple. So mission accomplished the second time.

There is one concept in this confusing world which I absolutely hate. Something called “Timezone”. Who, in their right mind, will decide that from today onwards, we will attach a 3 or 4 letter combination at the end of time and make it a hell of an experience to understand what time it exactly is.

Think about it. How simple would the life have been if the time was same for everyone, 2am is 2am. Irrespective of whether you are in USA or Germany or Australia or India. But no, some smarty pants didn’t like it simple. And in came the senseless words like PST and EST and AEST and IST and what not.

They did not stop at that. They brought something else called “Daylight Saving Time”. I mean haven’t you made the concept ‘time’ itself enough confusing sucker that now you add another two heavy words before that?

Look at what it does in Australia. Daylight savings is put in place so that afternoons are brightest and mornings are lesser. They move the time further by an hour. So 5pm AEST is now 6pm AEST. I still can’t accept that there was no sensible guy present who crawled at them shouting dudes you are screwing the evenings.

Now it does not get dark till 8pm. Yeah bugger 8pm is the time when you can say it is evening. And as a nice middle class Indian kid I am taught to sleep at 10:00pm. So basically I sleep when the evening has just dawned. Screw you Mr. Daylight Saver.

Moreover I never understand why the eff was this philosophy put in place at the first place. Not like it is saving hell lot of light or something. Irrespective of this daylight saving, light will remain the same between dawn and dusk. Why add 1 hour rather than simply calling it a day when there is light, not when it is 5am.

Now to the outcome of all these twisted minds. Today when some dumbo mentions just some random time, say 2pm, you have to first query is it his time or yours? Lucky you if he is not a dumbo and says yours. But as I have called him a dumbo, he has to say it is his 2pm.

So you have to first think what country he is at. Then think what season/month it is at that place. Then think if it is sunny enough there for introducing daylight savings? Then if it is, find out how many hours you need to add to make sure you know when you need to call him exactly. Thank you, you SOAB.

Now don’t be too smart yourself and bring in technologies like google and world clocks and all. Thats not the point.

The point is wouldn’t the world be a little less messy and irritating a place to spend lifetime of yours at, had you not have to worry about as simple a question as “what time is it”?

PS: I believe there was a reason for bringing all these concepts through. But I also believe there has to be a simpler solution to this worldly problem. I have few thoughts but need to put them in place. Topic for another post soon.

Yesterday there was a buzz going along in my office. My colleague asked me if I would be interested in parting away $2 of mine to embrace a chance to win 15million. (Yeah you heard it right, that is the amount I was told. million as in 7 .. arrr 6 zeros.)

Now I am not those champu “1$ bole to (translation ‘equals’) 40 rupaya” kind of guy. But the confidence with which this $2 ke 15 million deal was sold to me made me enquire further. It turns out, my “hard earned” money was betted on a lottery ticket.

The concept is simple she said. Join a bunch of 10-15 guys and buy a lottery ticket together. One guy gets lucky, everyone gets benefited. Playing safe and sensible she called it.

Now I am no economist, but one thing I can tell you for sure is this “deal” is not going to work in long run. All it would take is one moderate win to break the group. Lucky guy will part, because he will think he could have won this money by himself. And group will shrink with each and every win.

Plus what amazes me is how much lucky a lucky guy would have to be to overcome lucklessness of 9-14 other unlucky suckers!

I always feel that an equilibrium can be attained to make sure that a person will never run bankrupt by any sensible spending; investment is the key. I aim to attain this equilibrium, which my current spending habits are making extremely difficult to.

I am sure these $2 spent today are as much an expenditure as they are an investment. Atleast as of today.

Cake was being cut. Everybody stood around the “oh-am-one-more-year-old” guy and all of them were like “cmon-cut-that-cake-now-you-moron”. I stood there hoping that the cursed words do not leave some jackass’ mouth. And they did, against my wish..

“Happy B’day to you… happy b’day to you..<blah blah.. blah blah..>”

Now 80% percent did hum along the first “Happy B’day to you”. The number, however, dropped exponentially after that. The last “Happy B’day to you” was wished just by a single dumbo. Big time embarrassment I tell you.

See I am not being cynical here. I am equally happy that this person neared his death by one more year. But the problem is no one sings that song with the feelings it was actually meant to have. Plus the guy for whom the song is being sung is equally embarrassed as those who sing that song. So question arises why sing it at all.

Moreover I always felt whoever sung that song for the first time had something anti-asian boiling in his mind. Why the hell will he compose the third line the way he did then?

Confused? Well you haven’t sung, on top of your voice, “Happy b’day dear Harmoninderpal or Au or Venkataramana” then. I have and let me tell you, it is very effort taking. Need an indication of how effort taking and difficult it is? Well try and make Nisha Kothari act.

So the point am trying to make is stop singing this song. The melody was picked up from some song sung by two kindergarten school teachers in some late 1800’s and it does not suit this age now. Go read details here. Stop being moronic and make all the people involved, cake cutters and cake eaters, embarrassed. Birthday celebrations would be lesser pathetic this way.

PS: This song singing always reminds of the way we used to hum the “maine pyar tumhise kiya hain..” song during antakshari sessions in front of the girls, which were the ‘things’ we used to interact with just during such sessions back then. Embarrassing, way embarrassing!

PPS: The key to the “since 1912” part in title is in that link I shared for this moronic song’s history. Go grab a bite.

Since I arrived in Sydney, this question has been discussed and fought and betted over so many times among we friends. I mean the moment a clearcut-non-firangi girl is spotted, the next question that pops out is “Is she Indian?”.

The reason is simple. Everyone wants to be on top of his face reading skills. ‘I see them and I identify them’ is what most would want to boast about. No specific take away expected, just a self-satisfaction. And anyone and everyone is ready to bet a coffee or a lunch or a dinner for proving his reign over the so-called skill.

Now gone are the days when it was assumed that if someone bets, he must be right. So no one agrees with other, rather he too bets along. Thus these bets always end up being unverified “my-word-to-his” bets.

But that no way reduces the fun in such bets. The theories each side has to defend his view are just innovative, patentable always. Every single aspect, the way she talks, walks, stands, puts on makeup or does hair, is used as basis. You see basics have to be strong every time.

However today was different. Another such case was spotted and a bet initiated. This time however both were determined to prove he is right. And decided they will go enquire and sort this out once and for all.

Now imagine a situation, when a couple of guys with a bearded attire, resembling a “just-woke-up-hungry-ready-to-pounce” looks, walk to a simple unknown girl and query “Are you Indian?”. Both have the “I-would-win” hope filled looks in their eyes.

What can a girl respond in such situation other than a straight “no”. I guess she would negate anything these guys say or ask including “Are you a girl?”. Well that didn’t solve the bet. In came the defence, “The way she said no straight away? She has to be Indian”.

So for me the bet remained unresolved though I commended their courage to carry this attire with such confidence in front of an unknown unidentified girl. The question still remained, “Is she Indian?”

PS: Girls from china, japan, taiwan, malaysia etc are out of discussion here. I don’t want to sound any way racist, but I will just say we all name them under one category and move along. They would be having there own internal discussion about their origins the moment they spot one.

PPS: Such discussions happen even in India when the skill move to a state level, i,e read a face and guess the state.

I haven’t had even a single sip of as non-alcoholic an alcoholic drink as beer. There I said it. I know many people, mostly drinkers, will pounce on me. I always felt I am not fulfilling the most important thing HE sent me on earth for. I did not care till now. I knew they must be calling me dumb for this non-habit of non-addiction. I called them dumb for calling me dumb. But now they can prove me that I actually am dumb.

Look at the following chart.

(src discovermagazine)

You see how those who drink are supposed to be smarter than those who don’t. Now I just don’t understand why everyone started rumoring around that drinking is not smart and made me this non-drinker. I hate you, you rule/best practice makers. You screwed my life. You always have.

PS: I still have no intention to drink. I am better called dumb than actually being one.

PPS: The link has far better statistics around drinking behavior, though most of them worthless as statistics always are.

The beasts called elevators end up pissing me off every single time. I had rambled about these dumb asses earlier here. Go grab a bite.

If you have read that post, you will know that the ramblings mentioned earlier were particularly about those ill-chipped lifts of that underdeveloped guest house. But now I am convinced these shameless creatures are programmed to torture their inmates.

I mean think about it. What are the decisions these lifeless steel rooms have to make.. (Inspiration)

• Where do the people want to go?



• Where they are and where each floor is?



• What strategy they need to make so that they are cursed the least?

First decision is pretty simple. We make that decision for you, you bugger. You see those glowing numbers on the number pads we keep on pressing one after other? Yeah that is where we want to go. As quick as possible.

Second decision has a whole lot of mechanics behind it. I mean there are some shafts and then there are some holes on some vertical tapes and then there is some counting involved. I would surely like to go in details, but I don’t want to. So I won’t. Visit that inspiration link you see above.

However the part that puzzles me the most is the strategy because that’s when these supposed-to-be angels stop being ones and enter the devil’s land. Now these buggers have to strategise where to go, when to go and how to go. And I absolutely feel that they are not wired to do so. I mean how else can you explain the simplest of the things these dudes screw up.

How many times have you waited for an elevator to scroll right from 50 meters below basement up to the 14th floor when his other buddy is resting right at the 15th floor? Do they have some gentlemen’s agreement where one simply says “Can’t you see sucker I have just finished carrying 6 fat asses up and down thrice between just 2 floors. I am tired now and you can for sure handle these dumbos”.

How many times have you jailed yourself in a jam packed elevator as it drools itself down the shaft stopping and opening at each floor. If you are outside, those seemingly endless few seconds you spend when you apply all your permutation skills to see if you can possibly fit in any of the available gaps inside before giving up are just killing.

There are many other plights of these long travels between floors. But you see the point is the where, when and how part has to be strategised properly.

I will pen down the requirements for you. An elevator, for minimum, has to

• follow quickest path to you and quickest path to where you desire to go.



• open only if it can intake any of the fat asses, close and start the journey as soon as everyone hops on.



• understand when some mischievous fatty calls it, but does not want to hop on.



• not kill my mobile signal.



• close the doors faster so people get less chance to stop the elevator and say the meaningless “S” word again.

These are just a few suggestions that can make this floor travel not a sucking experience after all.

PS: On an unrelated note, why the hell does every single elevator has to have mirrors? Who wrote this unwritten law first? It just gives me one more chance for not letting the elevator know where I want to go and follow a journey to a floor undesired with this lifeless but life sucking beast.

Prologue: I have been working on quite a lot of posts recently but could not finish them and bring them to any bloggable format. So finally decided I should repost some old post. Here goes one such post.

Yesterday i had quite a random dream. Random indeed it was. For the most part of it i was pretty happy about what i was experiencing. And suddenly i went blank. I would say the dream went blank. Making me befuddled. Completely perplexed. Full of queries, queries for myself to answer. But before i get into the dream itself, let me blabber my views on dreams in general.

Dreams are angels. Yes, they have the power to make you experience the bests and worsts of your life at the same time. Indeed we experience the dreams, not just see them. How else can you explain your turning, jumping, twisting, crawling, grawling in the sleep. We are experiencing the event, the dream. I myself have woken up thanking god for turning whatever i experienced into a dream. And then there are those times when i just put myself to sleep again, just to experience what remained incomplete, unexperienced.

Further, the dreams are mutable portkeys. I feel i change lives in dreams. Butterfly effect you can say. But there one can decide if he wants to change his life. Here i don’t. It all depends on my other self, the dreaming threaded me. If he wants me there, i go. Otherwise i just lay here, wake up and continue.

Details. Two threads, if dreaming together, show how the life each is experiencing. We exchange both the positives and negatives. Yes, if you notice, each dream comprises of both goods and bads. We experience some scenes of that life, both happened and yet to happen. Yucks and Wows. If both agree to switch, we switch.

Now you see this concept explains a lot of usualities. Take Deja Vu. Yes indeed it is that ‘yet-to-happen’ scene of the life. We experienced it in the dream before we made the shift. Those jerky wake ups. May be the other self just slapped me for spending such sucking life. Or may be i did it to him for his sucking life. Roaming with unknowns. Yes, you don’t afterall expect two me’s having the same set of friends. Those long nights can be the result of just a mismatch between timings of two threads. Same goes for the short nights.

I will stop. Remove your thinking caps and plunge into the dreamland with the view. You might find quite a few interesting answers.

Anyways back to my dream i dreamed yesterday. I dreamed i was a singer, i was singing well. (Ok, i never said the other me has to be “me”ish. He can indeed me quite contradictory to who i am right?) Audience were happy. I saw my struggle. I saw my first assignment. I was watching myself happy. I watched all the happy me’s. Nothing bad. No yucks. And suddenly it was blank. I don’t remember something like this happening earlier. The dreams changed. The places changed. I woke up suddenly. But it never happened that the dream turned blank, with me facing eternity full of whiteness.

Puzzled, I lay there, closed eyed and open minded, waiting for something to happen. But all in vain. Blank. Whiteness everywhere. Finally i woke up and tottered my way along … With mind full of questions. Unanswered question.