5 Reasons Why I Don't Do Listicles

I don't generally write listicles because I don't enjoy that form of post. Without being too burdensome on readers, let me list five reasons I don't.

1. They are shallow and, hence, easy for readers to digest — why would I want my reading to be easy? I want it to be dense. After all, if you write to prove your smartness, you make it less readable. Right?
2. More people read them — again, why would I want more readers? I want very few readers. That's why I even stopped posting micro-posts. The introvert that I am, why would I wish people read what I wrote?
3. They are easy to write — why would I want to write something easy? If you just do the easy things, then when will you do the hard things? Right? Right?
4. Every point on the list can be thought about independently, making it easy to share. Again, I think I have established in point 2 above that I do not want more readers. So, why even make sharing easy?
5. A point can be completely filler, in no way related to the title, and still remain part of a listicle. Everything goes as long as it helps put a good round number in the title.

Listicles are written for the title and I haven't mastered the title's game.