Need to update, but i have reached and kind of settled in Australia. I had some time at hand last Saturday. SO just had a quick walk at Darling Harbour. Below are the snaps.
I will let snaps do the talking for now. A detailed post soon to follow..
Incidents wait for a perfect time to pounce on you, especially the bad ones. One such incident pounced on him too. One fine morning, it was.
Alike any normal day, he woke fully throttled up, with a hope for fruitful work at office. He rushed through the daily chores, preparing himself for the regular grinding sessions. However there was a tinge of excitement within him today. Surprised as he was with his full on enthu to reach office, a thought brushed his mind, ” something new, something good is about to happen today”. He knew today was, in someway, special.
He jumped into the office bus, just to get further surprised. Usually crowded, the bus welcomed him today to free spaces. He chose the best among the window seats. Clouds had already swarmed the Bangalore skies, further elevating his pleasant mood. “Something is surely in the air today”, he thought.
Whole day he yearned for the change he was sensing from the morning. However except for the persistent clouds, nothing indeed was pleasing him. He had a pretty workless day, which he hardly abhorred. But something was missing. He knew that, he felt that.
And then, on the verge of he giving up on any hope for the welcome change, it loomed, loomed through the hazy weather. He was introduced to the One. He was informed that One would be bossing him now onwards. The first few sentences from the One and he knew this was the change he has been desiring for. Fully impressed he was with the One’s fluent and vast knowledge flow. Fully impressed he was with the One’s sensitiveness for a person’s goals. Fully impressed he was with the One’s clarity of thoughts. Fully impressed he was with the One.
Few chats later an invitation was thrown at him, ” Join me for a smoke. Will you?” And that is how it all started. The incident had pounced on him, he though remained unaware. It all started one morning, one fine morning…
PS: All character are fictitious, resemblance to anyone is completely coincidental.
I had earlier prated at facebook about how things never go wrong but they usually are wrong. This post is more about the incident that made me babble that out.
This particular incident is not a one off experience. It happens with me most of the time. I have started believing the quote, that one gets what he gets only when the time is right, far strongly than ever before.
So right from the morning today, i was hopelessly beating my head against numerous things interconnected. Code not getting configured, tools not running properly, system slowing down like hell … and what not. In simple terms, all the things that could possibly go wrong were going wrong.
Tried my best to bring things back on track. Even tried the ever successful way out of chanting random rants in the loo. But nothing seamed to work. Day went by with me fighting the villainous time. And suddenly right on the verge of me giving up, something happened and everything got sorted out.
I felt like yash raj was scripting a movie with me, the helpless protagonist waiting for the non-hero-non-villain types neutral time to sort things out, a la Amrish puri in DDLJ. Here ditto Yash Raj’s script, how the solution appears does not matter.
Many times the all time hidden problem creators suddenly loom out of nothingness. Or at times the same components which were adamant on not working get a mind change and start working. You sit there dumbfound trying to grasp what happened. Worse is when all the twisted knots straighten up when a new person pulls a thread, making one look a complete idiot.
By the way today’s was the first case. The bugger emerged from the tonnes of characters and the problem got solved. Time was 7:02pm. Felt i was destined to solve the problem, but not before 7:00pm 28th May.
A new problem, as usual, has come into existence tough. Yashji’s planning a magnum opus this time, i guess. So awaiting another day of head banging for a solution which i know i won’t get before the time gets right.
Nothing actually goes wrong, it is always wrong. What is worth mentioning tough is when it goes right!!
Another day spent with hardly any interesting updates in life. Truly speaking many things happen. Mind wanders around, surfs over various topics instead of diving deep into a single significant job at hand. Result is i am unable to get attached to any of the things happening around me.
The question arises what really does one need to make the mind notice what is happening around? Interest in what we do should be the first and most important thing. But what I don’t understand is why do i suddenly take raw interest in the same work which i wasn’t enjoying earlier. It must rather be something else .
According to me, they are the things that happen around me that actually decide if i notice what is happening around or not. If my mind feels they are worth noticing, it will notice them. Else it temporarily captures the images just to wipe it off the mind’s canvas, sooner rather than later. The problem is this “sooner” comes too soon for me to make even a slight impact.
Does this mean things around me are insignificant? I don’t thing so. Rather the things around me these days are like the monotonic long silences in Oscar winning movies; they are no way insignificant, however they hardly make any sense to me. I would rather prefer the insignificant, but joyous jabbers of Adam Sandler than Leone’s blunt eye shots. And i need to soon find these jabbers around me!
Update: Just watched this wonderful village lady, Susan Boyle, nailing another awesome of her performance. This lady has provided some thirlls and excitement in waise monotonous life.
Witness yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLLIIb_jA9Y
As i was tottering along the floor today, i reached the door of the washroom whose door, thanks to the awesomely random designs, opens inside. So a person standing in the washroom is bound to get a hit for just boasting to his mirror self on how handsome he really is. Anyway so today as i reached the door, a person came out and we just had a eye to eye contact. There was no collision nor even a touch involved. But the first thing i spoke was “Oh, I am sorry”. I was like dude, this is too much. Why do i have to blabber out this senseless “S” word first thing, irrespective of what the situation is?
Few worse situations do come in my mind. I have never been in the “outside washroom door opener” category. I always get hit. Now even if i do get hit, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is “Am sorry”. I always think why do i have to be so passive when it is me who is hurt. However it is not like i always am passive about the things when i speak the “S” word. Even are the situation when i go sorry with a tone of “you ba**ard”. May be i have developed a way to swear by not really swearing. You know that cute little silence maintained when someone is boasting about himself, just to convey “go to hell. am least interested.” I guess this is something on similar lines.
Moreover its not just about the “S” word. He has got an equally senseless stepbrother which goes something like “Thank you”, the “T” word. Now this too is used in a similar context free manner. I remember a time when i thanked a guy who actually was helped out by me from a critical situation.
These situation make me think, is there really any use of the words like sorry and thank you when they are used so freely without really giving a second thought on why am sorry about or what am thanking about. Leave aside the crap that it helps in conveying some feelings. Com’on, there are better ways to communicate the same feelings. After all words are not everything. An expression like below can surely make anyone forgive others. Silence is golden as they say. Rather i feel silence, bundled with perfect expression, speaks a thousand words!
“Learning how to drive has been too easy these days my friend”, he said, “It’s a simple principle. Throw money learn honey. I learnt it not by choice, but by compulsion.” He had a sense of austerity in his voice. I knew i was about to embark on a journey of one of his lifetime experiences.
Though highly disinterested, flaunting my phony curiosity i queried, “So when did you learn driving then.” I was more worried about me bumping the vehicle into the truck ahead.
“Long back,” going into a hazy flashback, he said. “The moment i knew school is not my liking and studies hardly interest me, my family started looking for some work for me. There was no concept of job actually. There was work which would earn money for the supper. Who best to earn it than a lone useless, dumb fellow in the house”
Frisking what i listened for a question to throw back, i asked him “So you were the eldest? The only bread earner in your family?”
With a sudden smirk on his face, he replied ” Actually i am the youngest among the siblings. I have 3 older brothers, all well educated and hold nice jobs. But soon they left the home. Ashamed may be of the illiteracy in the family.” I knew the reason was more a taunt to them than a reason.
“So what did you do then”, I asked him, my eyes glued to the traffic signal ahead approaching faster.
“I didn’t have to do anything actually. Those were the days when the transport business was calling out for unskilled labour as conductors. My father pushed me into one. The work was simple. Whatever the king of the truck, the driver ustaad would say, the conductor would do. Whatever was literally ‘whatever’, including washing vehicle, buying him a beer bottle, bidis, making him a peg, washing the beer glasses. Anything and everything which by social thoughts would sound as child torture.” I hoped he was not talking about sexual one though.
Being a bad listener to one’s saddest and ugliest of the experiences, i did not want to go in the details of the torture. I queried him further “So what about driving then?”
“Aye bha*ve hat na baju” he sweared at a cycle rickshaw ahead. The rickshaw puller pedaled for another 100 meters before siding, least affected by the blasphemous outrage thrown at him. “These bloody idiots wont listen as long as you don’t use below-abdomen swears. Maa Behen pe na jao to palle nahi padta inke. My ustaad always used to tell me, best horn is that which is particularly customized for the one you are blowing at. Use your mouth in cities more than honking”. I decided not to listen to this teaching of his, not for now at least.
“Anyway about the driving, that was another role the conductor has to play when the driver was talli with beer. Suddenly one day he would pass the steering half crawling and say sambhal isko. It started with a prank, when ustaad had a good laugh along with his drunkard gang over my terrified face. I came to know after few months that actually that was the first step of my driving class under ustaad. That was my first experience of driving.”
Damn interested i asked, “So what next. Did he teach or just played rash on you?” Cool and calm, he pointed at a tea corner and said, ” For now i am teaching you. Lets take a break. Lots of rash experiences did follow. The experiences that collated to form my driving sessions. Aaram se baithke sunte hain. Do kadak chai dena chotya. Special.“
I awaited agog to listen to his series of driving sessions with his eccentric ustaad. I knew there were many experiences worth pondering over going to be unbundled soon.
At the other side, Chotya was cleaning the table in front of me. Suddenly he looked to me completely oblivious of the experience he was part of.
Another day goes by. Each day passes with me starting my day with a plan to blog about the zillions of ideas i have sidelined over the week now. I have to put a sticky post something on this guy’s face. This is a lame effort atleast to make that face a bit freshen.
So just to update, i am fed up with the monotony my life has been following. The following picture catches this phase of my life perfectly. I am facing the same soul deadening monotony.
Anyways i have made my mind now. I am working on a story that i heard from a person who taught me a lot over the period of 3 days. It has to come out. I will do that. Soon.
Now that’s not just a random title that i chalked out. Actually it is a fact. I read today that a person’s brain is the most fatty organ in his body!
Surprised? Even i was. I mean common. How can a tummy, that can expand to store 4 liters of food i.e. 50 times its empty size, be less fatty than a brain? Even if it is fat, should i even care. I think no one is faintly concerned about some fat crawling over a body part which one does not ,or rather cannot, flaunt.
But as i snaked through the article further, i found one interesting fact. Thanks to that, i can now sleep as long as i want. It seems when a person sleeps, his brain gets busy to file away all the memories of the day. I can now disportingly say that “I am gyming my brain dude. Fats are crawling even in the blood vessels now and my brain does not want to die devoid of oxygen”. Put on a board saying “Fat brain at work” and rumble along the snoring dreams.
Oh yeah. Even regarding dreams there are few interesting facts that the brain spins. Have you ever questioned yourself why you don’t actually act what you are dreaming? Or even simplest form saying what in fact are dreams? I do have. Though one thing i missed is a fact that 12% of the people dream in black and white. I just have one doubt here. What is the criteria that decides whether you will dream in 35mm technicolor or age old BnW? Whatever, its just another example of pointless statistics.
Moreover it seems your brain cheats you when you sleep by releasing some kind of hormone which actually paralyzes you. The sole intention is to make sure you don’t wake up next morning bawling about your aching bum which you hurt when you were horse riding in the dream. In short, it makes sure you don’t act your dreams. How i wish the brain was not so cruel on mankind. I mean, won’t it be good to actually go ahead and gym out your body too as the brain is getting fat burned. C’mon, it does afterall know the burden of carrying along the extra fat
Anyways, few more interesting facts are canned at the below link. Just go ahead and tickle your fatty brain
http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/sciencetech/facts-about-your-brain/7038
Just when i think not to trouble my mind, saturated by randomness to its full, i come across the little gems like this.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090123/od_nm/us_goat;_ylt=Ag7ntPE15g0Li3_NWwySSlgSH9EA
Apparently police in Nigeria detained a goat on the suspicion of attempting an armed robbery. Yes. You heard it right. Goat arming itself up with a shotgun and making the Vigilante men stare down the gun nozzle? All for a Mazda 323? I mean common. A Mazda 323 can only be as useful to a goat as a padded two’s to Pamela. If you neglect the lone possibility of she pooping on it. If it has been for “hay”, there was at least a chance of this happening.
That’s not it all. Actually there were a couple of them. Dude, coupling Hayek with Pamela still keep padded ones look useless. Moreover a couple of goats stealing a car? I know scientists are trying weird experiments on animals these days like cloning n all. But i never heard of such advanced experiment of churning out a species with body of goat and mind of Anton Chigurh. Not even on the fastest news reporting channel on this bloody earth, “Aajtak”. So if its not reported on Aajtak yet, its not possible even for 10 years now.
Although the main part is what might suit the tastes of few channels here. You see actually they were two guys who were trying to rob the car when the Vigilantes confronted them. One ran and other turned himself into the goat. Now the dangerous little goat is in custody and the police are waiting to prove it scientifically that it actually is possible to convert a person into a goat magically(!). Now i get it. So it was not the goat who was robbing armed, it was actually a man.
But now that it is crystal clear, i do not have even a single word to speak? First thing they actually do not shoot the white n black beast wearing so dangerous a throne of horn right at sighting it. Secondly they ask to prove that it is possible that an armed man can be converted into a goat? Common. The scientist have long discovered the dose to convert the buffalo-like-hardly-rising small dumb little ball of flesh into an ultra-active-hard-hitting beast. They call it an energy drink which does transform a sleepy crawling man into an awesome enthusiast you see. So calming down the beast to a goat look alike is just too easy a job. Just a bit of physical transformation is required that’s it.
So here i urge the related police staff to take a strict action against the goat and hang her till her death. The man that actually has transformed himself into goat is too dangerous for this world and so are his accessary. I heard they are working on something which can make this happen…
I have been gliding in the darkness for around 3 hours now, for one simple reason. The tube light in my room suddenly felt a strong desire not to glow. It went on blinking at me, i guess trying to figure out if i have worn any .. pajamas or not. I did try and rotate it around, with it never returning me a stare. While spending my precious time there, stroking the keyboard in darkness, a question just poked its head out of the ruffled mind. Why the heck is the darkness there.
I mean, ok fine. I know why it is there. I do have scribbled through the endless questions on solar system and planets structure and their hecking orbits. But i am not concerned about its how it exists. Rather i want to know how useful is it. I just want to justify its existence with one hell of a random reason, the farther it is from the truth, better it is.
I feel everything that exists, does so for some random reason. Even the minutest thing like a microbe is there because it leads or conjoins together to form or shape something awesomely important like virus, lets say. Yes they are weighty in a sense to control the growth of the big parasites in the form of humans. Similarly something like air, whose presence cannot be seen, is there to blow the smelly farts away. The sole reason for such senselessly senseless arguments is to emphasize the point that, yes, each thing can be tagged with the reason for its existence.
But even the random mind of mine could not reasonify the existence of darkness. To develop films?? Nah, very few do that now and those who do it actually do it by pulling over darkness. We are focusing on the natural darkness that arises with night. To sleep??? Nah, actually sleep has got more to do with the time than it has got to do with darkness. What then?
I know i am acting a bit ignorant, by may be neglecting many scientific things. I actually want to because i want some reason out of my mutable mind. The only reason i can think of gives me goosebumps.
I feel the whole purpose of darkness is to hide the light. So darkness is not "non-existence of light". But actually it is the other way round. Light is "non-existence of darkness". Whenever there is something that nature wants to do without making humans aware, it pushes darkness in. So it must be doing something at each night. Intercourse? Quite possible.
An argument can be made saying people do put on the lights then. But actually you see, that's the reason they just blink sometimes rather than staring. And thats the reason am in dark today. Nature is at work. Reproducing :)
Today it happened again. A previous post has had many hits from the Google search. I know there is nothing surprising about this part. But what follows is.
The query type was usually like "My ambition in life" or "My ambition" or "What are my ambitions" or "My plans and ambitions". One query was also of the sort saying "Why have i lost my ambition". Instant reaction was like, ok, i know Google does answer your query. But i dearly wish it does not move to this personal level. I dearly wish a day would never come when i would google for "Where have i forgotten my underwear". I dearly wish i don't.
But after some time, I thought fare enough. Someone must have searched for an essay with this topic. Afterall even i remember how, during the 2nd -5th standard, my ambition changed with changing teachers and essay books. It mutated from a nation serving politician or soldier to a hard-working-son-of-soil farmer to a life saving doctor. Frankly speaking, considering the level of english i could blabber on my own, the essay that was not lengthy enough not to be mugged up, at the same time sounded good and earned marks had content for "My ambition". But i don't remember myself ever scribbling about being a "gibberish-speaking" sleepy bug dwelling in virtual reality, being a computer engineering, i.e., to be specific.
Anyways this fact urged me to think what really is an ambition. I thought of mining the precise definition for the word and to my surprise what it really means is "an ardent desire to achieve something". An ardent desire? That is it? Boss, i have been ceaselessly told my ambition has to foretell a long time down the future. All those "cheek-bursting" aunts and grandmas and uncles danced on my head for ages to know what i would be when i grow old, what is my ambition. I always doubted if they wanted to boggle the million rupees estate i would have. To such extent was my fear that i started publishing "social service" as my ambition just to push the demons away.
But now i feel pity that i was wandering along without really answering that question in the best way. If an ardent desire is what ambition is all about, then yes i would have had hundreds of ambitions. And the list has grown to a thousands now with passing age. With each ambition i achieved, i feel i have installed few more in the list. I know and still remember the whole gyan about a life lived without ambition is like an arrow fired without an aim. But then if i have to talk practically I feel it is highly impossible to lay the path for whole life right at the birth. Nah one can't.
And that does not mean as a child i spent my life without an aim. I still had an aim to complete my homework just to rush out to play hide n seek or help mom out with an aim to go out for a walk in some mela or finish every possible household exercises even on a foggy Sunday with an aim just to use that as an excuse while am watching a cricket match. Now i know these were my ambitions. Far more practical than being a politician or a doctor.
Yes i know there are still these whole lot of concepts of long term goal and short term goals and art of living and blah. So I feel skeptic to use ambition as a word. I feel i better call it a simple desire. I have decided to pursue my billions of small but practical desires under the hood of long term, impractical or rather unverifiable ambition of being a respected and followed both professionally and personally. I have already mentioned how my ambitions faded away with time. I know my desires won't. I would be happy if the list grows to some tens of thousands, that would imply that i atleast completed 100 such desires. 100 such ambitionsi will call them.
Just finished watching the most wondrous poem on love and life, "Before Sunrise". I am so damn impressed. Its pretty amazing how the author's, the director's view can change a dragging chitchatting of a "just-met" couple into such awesome a journey for the viewer too. I mean, even i kind of get surprised that i thoroughly enjoyed a normal passage of some hours of two-people's life, their passage from strangers to lovers.
Everything about this movie left me impressed. The sweet time it takes to unfold itself, the locales of Vienna crawling beautifully behind the leads, the gentle music in the background. All these small little things just heaved my experience of what lied at the core, the subtle talks of the couple in lead. I relished everything the author was trying to say. It made me think, made me revisit my thoughts about many things. I mean not just about love, about life too. All it had to say about death, god etc. Small little gems like the one when the actress, Celine, talks about the old man who spent his whole life thinking about his career and his work. That was just a spectacularly well written scene.
And about love, well its better experienced in the movie itself. I am speechless, out of word to spell out my experience. Its not just for the one's in love, but also for the others to relish. All those pretty words, the moist eyed stares, those mushy silences, the tender touches. Everything. The poem in particular written with so plain a word, milkshake, as its base. Man, spectacular is the word.
Yes, I want to wend one such passage before sunrise in my life, if possible in Vienna. And yes, if so beautiful is love crafted on the moving canvas, am sure i won't be alone feeling that way.
True. I try like hell not to listen to him. He goes on bumping my head. But i remain focused. He bribes me with what i like. He threatens me to run away and never return. I try not to fall for his tactics. But finally i do. I pretend i will shoo him away, but that's the whole problem. I pretend...
Just a scenario, perfectly captured by Dilbert:
Anyways this bloody culprit in Internet just doesn't allow me to work my plans. I plan not to plan any plan, so that i don't feel bad when this plan of not to plan goes helter-skelter, unplanned. Thanks a lot internet.
Let me explain a bit. I reach home with a plan to read my novel, just to find the internet 'psst'ing at me. Calls me out to check my mails, read some scraps, check out some news on tech n all. And everyday i do fall for something or the other. I unknowingly, or that's what i pretend, plug the cable on and surf through the net.
Actually i did well in between to overcome this weakness of mine. I never fell for anything of sorts. But again somehow he has caught another of my nerve. He actually works stepwise now. Makes me switch on the powerplug spike for charging my mobile. He knows i am pretending to be just charging the mobile and i will turn on the laptop next. And everytime he turns out to be right. I pretend to turn the laptop on just for a bit to work something out and shut it down. But he knows that is not going to happen. Once the laptop starts he reminds me of something i need to do on net. I again pretend not to be surfing the net but just using it for a moment. But in fact, thats what i turn out to be doing. Surfing the internet.
Sometimes i ask myself why do i even try. I know i am failing to boggle my mind away from this culprit. But somehow i think this is that cunning but wonderous buddy with whom you can neither subsist nor part. Yes, that's what he is. Cunning, but wonderous.
Finally i have managed to stablize the “new entity” i was working on for quite a long time now. Today it comes out of the testing phase and open out. I have been working on a “blogsite” trying to design and fill it up with contents. And finally it is up… And here is the first look.
The site can be accessed here. Please do visit and provide the feedback.
PS: I plan not to depart from here. I will surely be blogging here sometimes. Have some fond memories with this buddy too. But still the activity will surely be reduced.
Nine... A number that has haunted me for more than a month. Would wake up with a stare at it. Take a shower, get ready and face the indolently eying number. Stagger while using it. Bump into it daily. On numerous incidents. Each one having a negative effect on my mood. Just adding to my already tangled life. Twisting it further. Something usual has happened today too. Today i.e. on 9th of this month. 9th. And hence this post.
Yeah i know. The prologue does seem a bit dramatized. But last part is indeed true. The normal routine things for last one-one n a half month have made me bump into '9', unusually, a lot. And it has succeeded in screwing up my mood on most of the occasions.
First up. The most common and tiresome experience of my life. I have been staying on the ninth floor of a "still-under-construction" n beta version of a 15 floored guesthouse. Thats not all. Its each and every part was under development and testing at the same time. And we, the guests, were bloody testers.
Lets start with a moment to reach there. You say use lifts. Simple right? Not so soon. The 3000 capacity guest house just had a single lift working for major part of my stay. Best being 2. You say "whats the big deal"? Ok, this lift can be any one of the 10 lifts scattered at various different locations on the ground floor. You say "uhh now thats complex". I say wait. Not all are on the ground floor. 2 are on first. Further take this. Each lift can take you only till/to a particular floor after or below which you have to scroll using stairs. Does that sound scary? Listen to this. The lifts were also in the "under-development-and-testing-part" list as most other parts and so had a most ill programmed chip fitted into her. Usual symptoms:
By god's grace i did reach the coveted 9th floor most of the times. The fact that it normally took me around 10 mins on average matters least considering what lied ahead. The floor was divided, in true sense, in 3 parts using wooden walls. So care had to be taken that you end up in your part. Else you had to crawl through the stair case. The corridors were mostly cementy because of its under contruction tags with most confusing directions (refer snap). Air conditioners in the room worked on random basis and when they did they made my teeths tremble with cold. The taps randomly decided the temperature of the water that come out. (I have got my bum burned once. No further explanations.) The mirror was situated at the darkest corner of the room with the most clearly visible part being my toe nail.
I have spent 44 days in this complete mystery house. There were other encounters with nine like never returned 9 rupees as change at the food terminals, 9 cubicals that i hopped along or the 9AM alarm that brought with it the invitation to begin the journey on mystery land of nine. The tales of these will follow up sometime later.
Finally there was just one saving grace i had with me which provided me the sole reason to go through this tortourous journey. People close to me know whom am speaking about. But i am observing a striking pattern there too. Each 9th of a month brings with it some problems. I can't explain but it does. I hope this hauting effect of 9 stops pressing me to my limits. I hope it stops testing my patience. Signs are not too good. Post is published in the 9th hour of the second half of the day. Ninth hour. Nine.
I have always been faced with this puzzle for quite long now. What happened to me shouting i would have best house on the whole street? What happened to my plans buying the best car in the town? Where is that dream life with servants running all round? The fridge full of ice creams, pastries, chocolates, chicken (leg-straigntened sky-pointing turkey, to be precise) ? The television set running just cartoon movies day long with remote just in my hand? To be the richest man, the most honest person, the man blessed by blessings from poor, loved by one n all. The whole lust for attaining some position, achieving some goal, some ambition seems to be lost somewhere.
And now? Now is the case i have just one ambition left. Crawl through the work week mechanically just to feel and shout: TGIF... Thank God Its Friday.
Finally i have found the reason for this loss of ambition. See and examine it for yourself :)
Now i know who uhhh what is the culprit. And yes TGIF :D
Yesterday i had quite a random dream. Random indeed it was. For the most part of it i was pretty happy about what i was experiencing. And suddenly i went blank. I would say the dream went blank. Making me befuddled. Completely perplexed. Full of queries, queries for myself to answer. But before i get into the dream itself, let me blabber my views on dreams in general.
Dreams are angels. Yes, they have the power to make you experience the bests and worsts of your life at the same time. Indeed we experience the dreams, not just see them. How else can you explain your turning, jumping, twisting, crawling, grawling in the sleep. We are experiencing the event, the dream. I myself have woken up thanking god for turning whatever i experienced into a dream. And then there are those times when i just put myself to sleep again, just to experience what remained incomplete, unexperienced.
Further, the dreams are mutable portkeys. I feel i change lives in dreams. Butterfly effect you can say. But there one can decide if he wants to change his life. Here i don't. It all depends on my other self, the dreaming threaded me. If he wants me there, i go. Otherwise i just lay here, wake up and continue.
Details. Two threads, if dreaming together, show how the life each is experiencing. We exchange both the positives and negatives. Yes, if you notice, each dream comprises of both goods and bads. We experience some scenes of that life, both happened and yet to happen. Yucks and Wows. If both agree to switch, we switch.
Now you see this concept explains a lot of usualities. Take Deja Vu. Yes indeed it is that 'yet-to-happen' scene of the life. We experienced it in the dream before we made the shift. Those jerky wake ups. May be the other self just slapped me for spending such sucking life. Or may be i did it to him for his sucking life. Roaming with unknowns. Yes, you don't afterall expect two me's having the same set of friends. Those long nights can be the result of just a mismatch between timings of two threads. Same goes for the short nights.
I will stop. Remove your thinking caps and plunge into the dreamland with the view. You might find quite a few interesting answers.
Anyways back to my dream i dreamed yesterday. I dreamed i was a singer, i was singing well. (Ok, i never said the other me has to be "me"ish. He can indeed me quite contradictory to who i am right?) Audience were happy. I saw my struggle. I saw my first assignment. I was watching myself happy. I watched all the happy me's. Nothing bad. No yucks. And suddenly it was blank. I don't remember something like this happening earlier. The dreams changed. The places changed. I woke up suddenly. But it never happened that the dream turned blank, with me facing eternity full of whiteness.
Puzzled, I lay there, closed eyed and open minded, waiting for something to happen. But all in vain. Blank. Whiteness everywhere. Finally i woke up and tottered my way along ... With mind full of questions. Unanswered question.
Along my surf through the web net (hmm tautology), found a lively garfield (now oxymoron) cartoon.
Now same is with me. Truly i feel i draw a quite of parallels with the dude Garfield. I am lazy, a bit overweight and i adore eating and sleeping. Even i hate Mondays (more on that here) and feel diet is a “die” with T. Me too hate spiders. A kind of sudden chill runs down my spine when i face that fraternity. Even the lucky bite for Peter Parker could not change my lovely hatred for spiders. I have tried entering a lot of weird things mind including fruits, mornings and various other animates and inanimates.
And this strip just elevated my similarity levels with garfield. I feel i, too, am a little too ‘Garfieldish' generous. I mean i provide my helping hand to someone just to end up with a feeling that i was too generous to do that. All because i was totally involved working his work out (!!!) I mean why do i have to do that. No need. What rather i should have done was to just provide a helping hand. Not my full hand.
I know garfield won’t have worked this way. He would never have worked this hard. I need to do that too. I need to learn that too. Stop working. Just provide the helping hand and remove it. Anyways the help hardly gets noticed in todays world. Am i turing selfish? Yep… thats another parallel with Garfield!
Now this is the topic that hits me everyday, atleast 3 times a day.. uhh .. usually more than that. Somehow i could not pen it out. Finally here it is. But before i move forward, a confession. This post is mainly with reference to the males. Am not sure how it applies to the other sex. But lemme just blabber it out...
Each day i usually rise, heavy stomached and ill faced, from my seat. Do something awkward between strolling and bustling. Course the floors of my office/home. Finally bang the door and enter the place. And choose a urinal. Now that's where it is supposed to end. But it does not. Something more happens. More on it in a wink.
Let me first speak out the reason for this whole rush. Firstly i have somehow got molded into someone who likes playing with critical situations. Be it deadlines (not at work though.. have to say ... have to say..:P) or my daily chores. Secondly, its all about the pleasure one gets from the sudden and mountainous relief through abundant pouring. I hope you understood.
Anyways back to the track. The most interesting part follows. Each time i visit the "relief camp", i see am not alone. There is this whole bunch of varied group and thats when my thinking cells awake and start noting few things. Now let me blog down few of my notes:
Now there are few more notes in my mindbook. But for now this is it. Need to totter along. Need to attain the pleasure. Here am off.
Lets have a look at the word cloud for this random messy place. I am surprised to know that i blog most about “blog” and i “know” a lot too!!!
Courtesy: Wordle
What follows is just a prologue. If you want to directly hit my thoughts on me being superstitious, surf to the last line :)
A guy named B.F.Skinner once carried out an experiment on pigeons to demonstrate the formation of superstition. He placed a series of hungry pigeons in a cage attached to an automatic mechanism that delivered food to the pigeon “at regular intervals with no reference whatsoever to the bird’s behavior.” His discovery in his own words:
The bird behaves as if there were a causal relation between its behavior and the presentation of food, although such a relation is lacking. There are many analogies in human behavior. Rituals for changing one’s fortune at cards are good examples. A few accidental connections between a ritual and favorable consequences suffice to set up and maintain the behavior in spite of many unreinforced instances. The bowler who has released a ball down the alley but continues to behave as if she were controlling it by twisting and turning her arm and shoulder is another case in point. These behaviors have, of course, no real effect upon one’s luck or upon a ball half way down an alley, just as in the present case the food would appear as often if the pigeon did nothing — or, more strictly speaking, did something else.
More on this and its connection with me and my being superstitious here.
I always wanted to add my tweets to my blog, to pen in the sudden and randomly generated vibes in me. I use to do that at twitter. But i wanted to pull in the thoughts at one place. As i owned the place now, i thought of a dedicated section for the purpose and hence came into existence the “Blabber Land”.
If you follow the link, you can find the live demonstration of twitter in blog under the first section named “Abrupt Blabberings”. The procedure is pretty not-so-complex sorts. And with a simple but informative article like this your work is greatly reduced. Thanks Remy …
But still it would need a bit of a scripting and customizing on your part, for better results that is. Few points to remember (basically the ones i didn’t :P)
Yep that’s the way it is whenever you ask that renowned question to even slenderly educated guy. There is this eerie feeling in being superstitious. But i feel knowingly or unknowingly, we do follow superstition. Ok, lemme not talk about the universe for whole. Taaadaaa … I, myself, do follow superstition. Or lemme say i am the most superstitious guy among the people i know. No better proof than my following acts …
Ok, i will stop this whole self-bashing ceremony now. I know there would be pretty more. Will add them whenever am frustrated with myself. Anyways, I feel most of my superstitious acts are more of an attempt to prevent my mind from wandering in the dusty desert of superstition. You see if something does go wrong if i didn’t do __, at the back of my mind it keeps tinkering me, further adding to my superstitious feeling. That’s superstition to prevent increasing superstition.
But i know whatever i say, i need to stop doing this. I need to stop falling to superstition just for the sake of not falling for the greater ones. I know .. I am working on that … Have already overcome few of mine. Blog on them soon …
By the way, i did find an interesting article. A guy named B.F.Skinner carried out an experiment on pigeons to demonstrate the formation of superstition. He placed a series of hungry pigeons in a cage attached to an automatic mechanism that delivered food to the pigeon “at regular intervals with no reference whatsoever to the bird’s behavior.” His discovery in his own words:
The bird behaves as if there were a causal relation between its behavior and the presentation of food, although such a relation is lacking. There are many analogies in human behavior. Rituals for changing one’s fortune at cards are good examples. A few accidental connections between a ritual and favorable consequences suffice to set up and maintain the behavior in spite of many unreinforced instances. The bowler who has released a ball down the alley but continues to behave as if she were controlling it by twisting and turning her arm and shoulder is another case in point. These behaviors have, of course, no real effect upon one’s luck or upon a ball half way down an alley, just as in the present case the food would appear as often if the pigeon did nothing — or, more strictly speaking, did something else.
So i guess i now know how it all started for me. I was ruined socially. Heres all my energy to end that … :)
Wishing all Indians, including myself, a Very Happy 62nd Independence Day. Been a great start, let me revisit the most prestigious moment for an Indian.
Its really an amazing feeling watching Indian flag raised above others. Kudos to the Golden Boy, Abhinav.
Update: I dunno for some obscure reason, i see most of these videos are pulled out from youtube, for some copyright infringement i guess. You can watch the video here.Thanks Shrirang for bringing this to my notice.
Finally i succeed. I have been working on this site for around a month now. I, though, had finalized my contents quite a long time back. But it was because of my random vibes, i could never really convince my mind for a dedicated hosted weblog. But finally… Though am not sure is it a simple blog or a ‘blogsite’?
Anyways this the first draft of the site i had in my mind for myself. I will note few points which, according to me, really heighten the user experience levels. It was all as a result of hours of skiing along the web and the constant feedback to myself of my experience as a user. So let me begin ..
I have thrived to please most of my expectations. Anyways i will, for now, not talk about my real journey right from ‘Blogger’, where it all started, to ‘Wordpress.com’, where it all beautified, to ‘Wordpress.org’, but just the final phase. The final shift, for me, was never a real pain in … uhh… head. And it shouldn’t be for anyone either. Only thing it requires is more of interest for designing and blogging.
So it all started, once on a frustrated day, with research on the preprocess. Had to earn my domain name ‘elatedamit' which i did. Bought the domain at rediff. Few pitfalls, never ever search for the domain you are planning to buy. Especially never on GoDaddy. The reason being various sites internally use GoDaddy for booking domains and, due to some random problem with their coding i guess, they are under impression you bought the domain even if you haven’t. Best example, Google Apps.
Moved to the host part. This was the most reasearched topic by me. I compared rates, providings, user experiences, expert comments and even overall look and speed of the hosting site itself. I really could not single out the best hosting site. Various people said, it depends on requirement. I feel the only thing it depends on is your luck. Choose, depending on how much you can spend, the best appearing host and leave it to luck. Hope that you won’t face any problem.
Roamed and jumped from Dreamhost to Bluehost to eWebGuru. But finally i stumbled upon Lunarpages based on the cost to feature analysis. I have hosted my blog with lunarpages for around a month now. I haven’t faced any issues of downtimes or slow responses yet. One valuable and important suggestion. Never complete the process right at the first time. Let them know you are interested. A guareented bargaining is about to happen.
Once your domain and hosts are connected, what remains to do is limitless. Remove your age-old thinking cap. Upsurge your creativity buds and dive in the vast sea of designing 'blogsites’. There is lots to learn and bit to earn too.
PS: Do let me know your views on the overall experience of the site. Let me confirm if i am normal or has randomness caught my mind too :)
