Excursions

"You won your security. But they own your privacy"

Throughout my student and professional life, i have been named and renamed hundreds and thousands of times. If i was made dada, manu etc at home, each one followed that up by gawande, amit, amith (southernized), wasudeo (!!! thats my father's name. Isn't that ironic that it was called when i wanted it to be the least, while distributing the checked answer sheets), strato, gaws and recently to few more. I felt like a bot in quake3 arena getting named for each player. Yeah!! as if this wasn't enuf i myself tagged myself with "the great", "the warrior", "gaws", "gamer" and simply "the player" in gaming arena. But there was the one that kept following me and i dreaded the most. "Phattu" (meaning "the fearful". Quite interesting isn't it? I feared the name itself). Though i felt it wasn't fare enough, I feared the things every normal one did. And if someone didn't i always felt he should be called the fearfree (physo??? :P).

Anyways today it was just by chance that i thought why not untie this tag from myself. But the first step was to list down the things i feel i fear the most in recent time. Because the countless times i was afraid is the past now and past hardly counts. So here goes the list of my recent 'fearmakers':

1) Weekends: Yep. These dudes come with a promise to let me complete all my jobs i have been postponing to meet just to slide under my feet with a lighting speed keeping me awake every sunday night. And thats the night i go to sleep with mostly zilch completed. Few uncompleted jobs include random internet surfs, itemized jobs like meeting, following up with XYZ, completing uncompleted work over the weekdays, do some shopping, paying bills, calling someone and and... Uff the list really goes on. Few which always top the list and remain unbeaten include washing clothes and shaving. Its all because i keep fearing each one of them, i hardly take a bath on sunday. You see i hardly find any time. Facing the monday morning with every planned thing untouched shivers me up.
2) News reports boasting someone: It may seem its fully faltu to fear something so stupid. But boss you should watch news channels catching random roaming people and making them comment on blah blah attaining blah feat. And then follow the unending murmurs: "East or West blah blah is best", "Blah blah is great", "we love u blah blah", "i feel in todays world .... hjhsdjsa.... sjdhsaj" (a sudden break from news reporter finally breaks his non-abating tempo). I fear heavily that one day it would be me who would end up on either side of the conversation: i mean either boasting someone or holding mic (Nah me getting boasted over a news channel seems hardly probable. Though the speed with which news channels are turning insane, the possibility cannot be negated. And believe me, that would be no less fearful)
3) Reality shows and SMS: I don't know if the show producers really know that but sending an SMS here at our place does get charged. But lemme be clear. No horror serial/movie isn't as horrifying as these shows. I really worry if i keep on watching the reality shows, time's not far when i would unknowingly type "&*&* A" or "LEAD #" and send that to 56789. Lines are open from saturday 10.... Arggghhh You see the side-effect. It just sticks and stinks inside. And even unknowingly you start blabbering the rules. Now thats the fear.
4) Google Homepage: Seemingly harmless bot, this is the most dreadful thing among the lot. I myself feel am addicted to this dude now. After atleast every 1 hour of joblessness, I feel to face this faceless creature. I fear he would one day take over my mind one day and and spread his crawler bots to digg out the information hidden inside. The phrase (and widely used "About me" statement in social profiles) "My mind is an open book" would literally turn into "My mind is an open searchable entity. Just google it dude". Its really scary.

I guess i should stop for now. Its the Sunday night, have just seen an episode of reality show, been targeted by the boasting news reports recently and just now ebbed myself my visiting google.com. So before I really get bogged down by fear, let me reveal the plan. Plan is i am going to not fear any of these things. Simple solutions is not watch television, no web surfing (surfing without googling??? Just can't imagine) and yep no work postponement. I know that's pretty 'new year resolutions'ish type of statements, but a start need to be made. Once i regain my control over these things, i will move to few other fearmakers. Till then good night. Its me signing off for tonight. Will meet next Sunday same time .. Argghhhh need to sleep. Fearmakers on their way!!!

Update:As if the "Google" fear i talked about earlier wasn't enough, there struck this video which intensified this fearmakers effect on my "blogged" mind. Thats quite creepy.

" Beware Aussies of the Indian Leap. They do take that and when they do, your kangaroo's are no match!!!"

Irfan Pathan and R P Singh in Perth

"Give me a strip of laughter dose please."

I know i do blabber pretty brainless sometimes. But then thats what comes to my mind whenever they yell "Laughter is the best medicine". So if thats the case, why pretend that its not sold in the medical stores? It is indeed sold by a lot of agents, with political leaders leading the race followed by the so called "Blah-Blah Rights Protection" buffs. Anyways thats not the purpose of this post's existence (Hmmm ... Interesting!!). Why this post lie here has its own insight.

Along my stroll down the web's spider lane, I came across an article "10 Benefits of Laughter, and How to Use It". Triggered my weird thoughts. As each point scanned under my eyes, my mind blogged through the idiotic wanderings. "Why"'s and "What if"'s started cracking under my skull. And the only way to abate that was to pen it down. So here goes the autopsy....

Imagine a comment from a person something like "Buddy, i finally reduced the level of cortisol, epinephrine, adrenaline and dopamine man. Been long since i laughed." I mean may be thats true, but is there any need to know that? How does that matter which '-ol' or '-ine' i reduce. Really makes me think why do these dudes have to break down something simple like "Stress level" to all these '-ine's. Put it simple yaar. "Laughter reduces stress level" and one doesn't require any scientist to tell him that. Its instinctive.

Plus they say laughter is a great workout. Okie, point taken. So from tomorrow onwards i will go to gym and break into a huge roar of laughter. Being highly contagious as they say, it won't take long to spread all through the company. Now come the two threads from Butterfly effect which my life can take.

Moreover a research suggests that optimistic (where's the connection with laughter dude?) people live healthy and longer. Now thats obvious. An optimist would never say "I have got cancer buddy". Rather he would insist its a kind of a roller ball running round his stomach providing him guffaws. So never would you see him saying he is ill. Thats it. He is healthier for the world.

Anyways fun apart, one point does hit the bull's eye. A smile costs absolutely nothing. So why not spread it on the face. I just wear it on and live on. Without really caring if it does benefit me or not. But one thing is for sure. It does spread some kind of freshness to one's mind and to the face. So cut the crap buddy and spread the smile. It does make difference!!!

Another instant thought! Throughout my life, from a tender age when i was railing on my knees, I have never been a "Frutomaniac". I mean i have never been an idiotic fruits lover. When kiddies around me were busy drooling over all sorts of fruits, i was busy enjoying fats. Parents kept forcing me to push fruits in myself and i kept on running away making faces and crying like hell. And as always, the childish weeping bomb won over the parental force. And as i grew up, i was installed with an image for each fruit i was made to eat, forcibly. Follows the list (Don't expect this list to be exhaustive. If you do, stop eating fruits and go visit a doctor)

Thats just a small list of chaps who have significant thrust over my memory. There are many others like the ugly fat jackfruit or the sexy berries or the fearful grapes or the sleepy papaya. But then these don't stand enough ground.

And before I end the post, lemme just clarify one thing. There is more as to why Apple earned the title here than just his fortune. For last few days, i have been made to eat apple daily claiming that "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". Its been just two weeks or so, and lemme assure you one thing. An apple a day does have guts enough to keep anyone away. Doc was just the poor guy who fell into the trap!!!

Blank... Thats how i have been for almost a week now. Truly speaking work apart, life's really following a pattern. 'Pattern' itself is trying to poke its head out of the blogged mind, but will somehow prevent it from doing so for a bit.

This post of mine is more of a "puch" to my blog. It has been throwing the same faces at me for more than a week now. It looked totally rusted, highly demanding a post. So thought lemme push down what i have been doing for a while. So the pattern goes something like this...

And as i end this post, an instant thought strikes. Does any software engineer spends a routine even an inch different than this one? Out comes the answer, obviously yes. Afterall every software engineer has new scribbles to scribble and new notification to look at. Also not everyone drinks coffee ....

[PS: Though the above mentioned steps seem bulky, but they hardly take 5 % of my working time. Reasons are simple. I hardly get any checkable mails or replyable scraps or readable feeds. Moreover work does succeed to pull me in]

By the way, follows a nice video on juggling. It does provide another work synchronized thread, a look at "Buffering ..."

Another random crawl through the web brought me to this interesting fact. It seems it really is a big riddle to find a solution for. I mean look at the riddle. It does ring a bell for an ardent Hindi movie buff. (won't call it Bollywood!!! Though am not sure why, but as they say some things are better unexplained. May be a bit Patriotic feeling, which pops up every now and then).

A famous dialog from the movie “Chupke Chupke” starring Dharmendra and Amitabh. “Gende Ka Ful Ful Ho kar bhi ful kyun nahi hain?” starts guffawing into the ear.

By the way here goes the main story:

"A riddle: When is a kilogram that is no longer a kilogram still a kilogram?

Answer: When the chunk of metal that serves as the official international standard for the kilogram, under triple lock-and-key in France since 1889, inexplicably sheds a little weight.Very little, though. The cylinder of platinum and iridium, sitting under three concentric glass bells like a metallic round of goat’s cheese, is 50 micrograms lighter than the average of several dozen copies."

Weighty mystery: kilo standard sheds 50 micrograms - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

As a follow-up to an earlier post titled 'Quality Confidus', here goes another one. The theme for this was bubbling in my mind right from the day this lack of confidence for quality came to my notice. But the world is too full with nonsensical stuff to let you think about anything else. So this time round just closed my thought radar and blogged this post first.

So the story goes like this. This whole lack of confidence among the software programmers and managerial "stuff" makes me wonder how really a programmers life is (Are managers really human? Am a bit skeptic about this fact. So let us call them stuff for now). I mean, thanks to this whole Bug-Raga that rings in their ears day round, the time is not far when we may see a conversation sort as follows:

SP2: What the heck? Are you serious?
SP1: Yeah man. I am really worried now. And confused too! Really i don't know how this happened
SP2: Did you try resolving the issue. I mean try adding some stubs in code dude.
SP1: Did everything buddy. But its still the same. I don't know what will Emailo say. (Emailo is the manager 'stuff'. I hope it does ring some bells)
SP2: Yeah. You have to work on this crisis. No one else can help and you know that. By the way what were you trying to do?
SP1: See nothing complex of sort. I had to blah blah blah. So what i did was i created a class extending blah and implementing blah with blah method overridden. Then i created a static object for blah blah blah.... (Thats what SP2 interpreted)
SP2: Ya got that. Dude that indeed is not that complex (Thats called Geekology!!!). I know you will resolve this soon. But lemme tell you one thing. You have to come out of this mess soon. Because Emailo will think otherwise that you are not giving your 100% (Though everyone knows thats the truth. I mean if i give work 100%, how will social networking and IM's pull through).
SP1: I know buddy.
SP2: But i am still baffled yaar. How can your Code run at the first go dude! Thats completely unimaginable!!! I would just say try a bit of "Re-bugging". My best wishes are with you dude
SP1: Thanks pal. By the way, do you know of any free downloadable "Rebuggers"!!!

PS: Here though SP is supposed to stand for a "Software Programmer". But i feel there is another signifying expansion explaining condition of this Entity: Shoddy 'n Pitiable!!!

Thats tagged as: humor programming software

Been on watch for something interesting. And there came two strolling down. Its like asking for Halle and earning Serena and Venus together. But anyways as i have got them now, let me show some respect to both.

So crawling round the web I came across two interesting stories. Everything has to do with the mind blogging and ever growing globally warmed issue(/fiasco??) of global warming. I feel scientist are too bored to pull out new points to discuss when everything has really been cut open. There are few great "humanophobic"s who really are after the human race to end themselves, so that there future generations can live long in peace (Quite weird huh. Where the heck will future generation fall from? As far as my knowledge goes, technology there with Souls hasn't reached the height to pull out humans from themselves. Or has it? Don't think so). While there are other mankind lovers who just believe that we, the humans, can never trouble others (pretty optimistic boss). So there go the stories possibly scripted by these mankind maniacs.

Let us look at the first one. Its about the failed interstate bridge over the Mississippi River. The inspectors believe that pigeons played a tantamount role in bringing it down along with heavy traffic, missing bolts and cracking steel. It seems these fatty pigeons out there in Mississippi go on and on shitting along the bridge, that too without wearing diapers, thinking it to be the government provided pigeon-open latrines. And its this dung that corroded the bridge and made it weaker killing tens. Chances are that this dung will kill many others at different locations. So its the pigeons who torture and trouble others and not the human. Man-kind maniacs score one. Catch the story here:

The second story directly hits the bulls eye at global warming. Some scientists believe now that cows may act as the protagonists in the global warming saga. (Dude, are you bored with humans now. Or are you trying to cash on the fact that there are no scientists or bloggers in cow fraternity?) It is believed that as a cow burps, she throws out the methane gas, a powerful greenhouse agent (this name always makes me jump in my seat. Those bloody gases have got quite interesting name. Lucky them!!!). Have a look at the story:

If you go through the report closely, there is one thing that will amaze every sensible man. And it is present in any report these days. Look at the height of depth (crazy isn't it???) the statistics go. 100 gallons of methane per cow per day and so on. Am really skeptic as to how they dig this data out. I mean, dude, 1 burp each 40 seconds? Uhhh give me a break.

Anyways these stories may seem rather amusing and ludicrous. But they can affect the lives of these two cow-pigeon fraternity. Think how would be the environment out there among these poor buddies. And as i become a bit time-filled brat again, i surely will.

Thats tagged as: global warming humor

Been "off-post" for quite a long time now. Spent some heavily burdensome days for the last month or so. Really felt it was like a CD crash at a perfect and best scene you have been drooling for. Anyways a nice break at home and am back to normal. Hopefully there are no crashes so forth.

This post is warm-up swing. Had lots of ideas bubbling around, but just couldn't manage to pen them down. Wish i had the Dumbledore's random magical pensive so that i could just stroll down the memory lane and pick up the thought pebbles (though truly speaking i couldn't visualized that silvery stuff as something from brain. Ya, my nose did give a jerk on its reference). So back to the post from my slippery (!!!) thoughts, following is my attempt to bring out how indeed the independence day holiday is celebrated. My degree of independence on the day was surely not one to be rejoiced. That pain was enough to bring out this abnormal print out.

P.S.: I know this damn is not readable, virtually i mean. Just click it to zoom in. Hope it gets readable, not just virtually :D