Excursions

“Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life,” goes a mantra for success – an adage that is unfortunately overrated, though. A person can’t always do what she loves to do. Rather, there are very few fortunate folks who do just what they want to do in their life. An extension to that adage is love what you do. Well, nor can one always love what she does. Rather, most folks hate what they do. They do it because they have to do it.

“Passion is the genesis of genius,” says Tony Robbins. Aha, that is precisely the reason we aren’t surrounded by geniuses. The majority of us are stuck doing something for which we have no passion.

That is such a cynical attitude, you say? Sure. But, it also is the reality of our world. Should we then give up? Far from that, actually. What one should do is to find out why they are doing what they are doing. For some, it might be the money. Or a sense of comfort. For many, it might be the best among the available options. Find peace with what you do. That is the first step to reach a phase in your life when you can do what you love to do.

There is also the fact that what you love can very well be temporary. It takes time to find your passion. What you think is your passion may very well be a fleeting interest. As Derek Sivers reminds us, we can’t always depend on our current opinions.

(Our) former self is not always right. We shouldn’t preserve our first opinions as if they reflect our pure, untarnished, true nature. They’re often just the result of inexperience or a temporary phase. Old opinions shouldn’t define who we are in the future.

It is the contentedness, though passing, that matters the most. Do what makes you feel contented, what gives you a good night’s sleep.

That said, there is, of course, another way. Stick to what you are passionate about. Switch paths when your passion changes. There will be hardships because doing what you think you love is not easy. But being satisfied never is. Be firm, stay strong.

So, which way do you prefer?

Today’s posts mark the completion of 30 days of daily posting on my blog. It wasn’t a planned challenge. But I wanted to attempt a routine, in public, of sorts. Prone to miss at least a day occasionally, a streak of any kind is always difficult for me. Plus, a good thing is that I didn’t have to schedule any posts just to make sure I don’t skip a day. I had written all the posts on the day they are visible on the blog. Well, in Indian Standard Time, that is. Even the long-form essays.

With post-a-day done, can I take up another 30-day challenge? I always wanted to post at least a picture every day. But, I am not too much into photography. Or rather, I am not good at it. Plus the worsening environment outside with Omicron in the air, it becomes a tad more difficult to find different places every day. What else?

Since my niece was born on this day three years ago today, the new year celebrations have been quite unfamiliar for us. The whole world celebrates along with us as she grows a year old, every year. Or so we have convinced her and her parents. This year is no different, albeit a tad muted. But still, the folks all-around plan to celebrate.

Knowing how all my plans for 2020 were mercilessly crushed by the pandemic, I had no expectations from 2021. I knew it was going to be more of the same dreadful cycle of panic, despair, and hope. At the same time, I also wished I and all my dear ones sail through, see the end of the year.

As I sit here today, looking at the year gone by, all I can do is smile. It began with a phase as dark as my family had ever seen. But it brought us all close, gave us the courage to stay strong. We got back on our feet, stronger. We learned to live with the virus, masked whenever outside. Vaccinating ourselves. Slowly, gradually, we wandered, unhesitant, outside our homes. Each one of us established our own new rules, routines, and traditions around travel.

We met our friends, got nostalgic for the days that we had left behind. We got hungry, got drunk and laughed our hearts out. I witness my office welcome my colleagues, the floors, and pantries reverberating with grumbles again.

I am fortunate I could do all of that. And a lot more. That I watch my crazy friends share their plans for celebrations with booze and snacks. That I would watch the skies light up with fireworks one more time. I am fortunate that I am about to get ready and join my family to celebrate my niece growing older by another year.

And if you are reading this, know that, in one way or the other, you are too. Just look back and find out why.

Resilience. And kismet. The two words I would remember 2021 by. Wish you a happy new year, you all!

Artwork by David Wirzba on Unsplash

It has been the third day in a row today that I decided to sleep early, get back to routine and failed. I just can’t stop myself from doing what I am doing at my system. Until last week, I used to lay down onto my bed with my Kindle and was sound sleep at the same time every time. That hasn’t been the case for this part few days.

I know what I need to do. I can’t make myself do it. Sure, I have my reasons why I am going late to bed. Nonetheless, I don’t like that a bit.

Sleep routine is a flaky thing — disturb it ever so slightly, and it absolutely falls apart. And takes down the whole next day with it.

To everything that we do, there is always something we haven’t. Time is like a balancing scale. When balanced, more things are not on it than there are.

When I recently wrote this, I had no idea it’s going to only go downhill. There are a lot many things off the scale now.

I recently cribbed about how my smartphone was becoming the pesky little distractor again. I was planning to go back into a shell, keeping the device away from me for longer durations. However, I realised I may change the way and try being mindful this time.

I was hit by this thought during my guided meditation session today, when I came across this insightful observation.

In trying to bend our will to that which is helpful, we strengthen our ego. In letting go of the things that are unhelpful, we free ourselves of our ego. Same intention. Different outcome.

We depend on our willpower to control our situation. We achieve the results but don’t train our minds. As a result, we harden our habits and behaviour. What if we change our approach. What if we acknowledge the unhealthy thought. But rather than becoming more rigid, we become softer. Rather than rejecting, resisting, we let go.

Interesting. I tend to depend on my willpower to not fall for the poor habits. That hasn’t worked well for me — I avoid the habits for some time, but soon am back to natural poor state. My problems with my smartphone are an example of this behaviour. So, why not accept that my device is a bugger? Be mindful of the fact that my subconscious reaches out for the device frequently. And when it does, acknowledge it and let it go.

Be mindful of the attraction, but not be burdened by willing self into resistance. Remind self of the negative outcome and detach. Can I train my mind to not fall for the attraction but ignore it naturally?

One approach is rigid, based on will, based on control. Other approach is based on awareness. Recognising the thoughts that are helpful and engaging with them. Recognising the thoughts that are unhelpful and letting them go.

I have no idea if this would work for me. Who do I trust more, my willpower or my ability to be mindful? I have seen my willpower falter. Maybe I should give mindfulness a try this time. That’s what I have decided to do.

I was wishing my daughter good night today and she left me with a weird analogy. “… something something .. like a tomato wrapped in chocolate”. I have no clue what it means. Does it mean good or bad? I can’t sleep now and she is sound asleep. Kids, I tell you.

After a welcome phase of independence from my smartphone, I am back to fidgeting unnecessarily with the device. I keep it close to me when I shouldn’t. Notifications have started pestering me again. They hack my focus away. I know the reason, I have given up on my resolve to not hand over the control. It didn’t happen instantaneously. It happened gradually, over time. Now I feel the burning sensation like a slowly boiling frog.

There was a time when I used to go to any extends to stay away from the device. Keep it in the next room. No apps. No notifications. Never next to the bed. YouTube disabled. And on and on. Eventually, every time I picked it, a bulb lighted in my brain reminding me to not surrender.

And the pesky device conquered those defences one by one, without me realising. It started with a few apps. Then their notifications. Then a need to watch and share a YouTube video from the device. Before I realised, I was wishing good night to my phone lying in the bed.

Today, I was on my computer, the powerful personal computer which can cater to all my commands. But I reached out, as if out of habit, to the smartphone just to peek at those apps, the web versions of which I had just visited. I knew I was sick again.

My smartphone has become the most personal thing I own, but also the one I need to frequently stay away the farthest from.

I am back to using Mach3 by Gillette. Having tried everything, this razor still gives me the most comfortable shave. I don’t love money-hungry tactics of Gillette, but am glad they made this model.

There was a time when I used single blade safety razors. When Gillette launched the dual-blade razors. I thought it’s double the blades, this has to be better. It wasn’t. Later, I could finally afford Mac3, and I used it for the longest period of time. There was no need to shift, it suited me.

Then the craze for Indie, hip brands with products targeting “bros” engulfed India too. Search for a razor on Amazon and you will be bombarded with a slew of funnily named brands selling grooming products for mens. All claimed quality and affordability. Most targeted Gillette. Feeling burdened with guilt of not supporting newer brands, I switched. I started using a 5 blade razor from one such brand. And then kept hopping for a couple of years. Razor shopping soon became a hobby, and then slowly turned into a nightmare.

Eventually, I gave up and went back to Gillette. First to their pricey 5-blade razors and finally to Mach3. I realised something after this period. A razor with more blades doesn’t always mean better shave. More doesn’t always mean better.

So in short, I am done feeling guilty for using a product from a brand that’s hated a lot. It works for me, so I use it.

Every time the grinds of the daily life take toll over me, I travel to a place close by with my family and friends. The last weekend was another such occasion.

I love this place not because it is a perfect family getaway (that it is), but because it is easy to travel to, and so there is not too much planning needed. Most trips get burdensome by the sheer pain of planning so much, so ahead of time. I enjoy the travels where that’s not the case, especially when I have no interest to be a typical tourist and go spot hunting.

The purpose of one’s visit is what matters at the end. If it is to find out everything of interest in a place, sure, go sign up for a hectic few days. Even I do that at times. But, why do that when irrespective of how much you roam around, you can never cover all the interesting places, anyway? The tourists flocking around an attraction kills it for me. It is just a place of business. I prefer the turn en route where no one halts. Or the point which hasn’t got any fancy name yet.

Anyway, I know every nook and corner of this resort I stayed in. My family and I have visited every spot of interest in the place, and so can selectively just visit those that affect us. We did just that this time, too. Maybe, I am different. I am glad that my family is just like me. Crazy different “tourists” that travel for the experience, not with a checklist!

Here are a couple of more pictures from the relaxing trip.